


Men are pigs, Gods even more so

by jediclarinetist



Category: Greek and Roman Mythology, Voltron: Defender of the Universe (1984), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam as Amphitrite, Alfor as Zeus, Allura as Persephone, Aromantic Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Coran as Demeter, F/F, F/M, Gay Disaster Keith (Voltron), Gay Merla, Hunk as Hephaestus, Keith as Hermes, Lance as Apollo, Lesbian Romelle (Voltron), Lotor as Hades, M/M, Melanor as Hera, Merla as Athena, Nyma as Aphrodite, Pidge as Artemis, Rolo as Ares, Romelle as Hekate, Shiro as Poseidon, lance flirts with everyone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 18:05:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17667488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jediclarinetist/pseuds/jediclarinetist
Summary: Persephone(Allura) is sent against her will to her new husband, Hades(Lotor). He's not as awful as she thought he'd be.Hermes(Keith) is a gay disaster and is also Zeus(Alfor)'s errand boy.Hephaestus(Hunk) knows his wife, Aphrodite(Nyma) is cheating on him but doesn't know what to do about it.Artemis(Pidge) hates boys.Athena(Merla) may be a virgin goddess, but that doesn't mean she won't bang another woman.Apollo(Lance) will shamelessly flirt with Every God or Goddess There Is.Poseidon(Shiro) has adopted Hermes(Keith) and Won't Let Go.Zeus(Alfor) is a dick.And other fun god-shenanigans.





	Men are pigs, Gods even more so

When the winged messenger of thunder-loving Zeus came before him in the house of the dead, holding the most beautiful girl Lotor had ever seen, with her golden hair and pale skin and blue eyes, Lotor stood, leaving his skull-encrusted throne, at once. “What is this?” he demanded, for the girl was crying, her eyes pink and puffy. Of course, Zeus had mentioned that he was sending a bride to Lotor, but he had never imagined it would be against the girl’s will—though perhaps he should have, given Zeus’ tendency toward rape. 

Hermes kept a straight face, though Lotor knew that his nephew must not like what he was doing. “Lord Zeus gives his regards, milord Hades. This is your bride, Persephone. Here,” he replied, and practically threw the girl to him. Lotor had to rush forward in order to catch the frightened goddess with gentle arms. Hermes took his leave then, leaving the poor girl alone with her new husband. The god’s black mullet bounced a little as he turned on his heels.

“What’s your name?” murmured Lotor, steadying her. 

“P-persephone,” she replied, taking a step away from him. 

“Your personal name,” Lotor corrected, smiling. “I’m Lotor.”

“It’s Allura,” she answered, seeming less frightened now, though her eyes were still red and puffy.

“Do you know why you’re here?” asked Lotor, taking her hand in his own much-larger hand. His dark eyebrows were knitted together with worry. 

“Hermes said that I was to be your wife?” She gave him this plaintive look that tugged on his heartstrings, saying something like,  _ why me?  _ or perhaps  _ on whose authority? _

“Zeus didn’t explain it to you?” he clarified, leading the little goddess to his private chambers. 

“Father? No,” she answered, looking startled. “Did he decide this?”

“Zeus is your  _ father _ ?” Lotor cocked an eyebrow.  _ My niece, Brother? Really? _

“Yes,” she said indignantly. “Did  _ he _ give me to you?”

“Yeah, that’s what I heard,” Hades replied, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I guess we’re married now.”

Allura looked uncomfortable, but nodded nevertheless. “What about the, um, wedding night? Are you going to hurt me?”

“No,” Lotor answered. “What have you heard? Are you a virgin?”

“Yes. Mother said that it hurts terribly, and that men are pigs.”

“ _ Zeus _ is a pig,” corrected Hades with a snort. “It only hurts if you’re not careful. And I’m not going to force you into anything. We have all the time in the world.” After saying this, he kissed her on the forehead. “Come on, Allura. I’ll show you around.” He slipped an arm around her slender waist, leading her out of the castle. “Do you want to see Sisyphus and the others? Tartarus? Narcissus? The River Styx?”

“Uh…” She looked a little worried. “Anything not torture-y?”

“Oh, no, no, no, don’t worry. Sisyphus and Tantalus and just a few others are the only ones being punished. Everyone else just kind of floats around. Narcissus isn’t being punished at all, he gets to look at himself for all eternity, which is apparently his favored activity?”

“How odd,” commented Persephone.

“Quite,” agreed Hades. “The River Styx separates the resting from the restless, Tartarus is… alright, fair enough, I’ll give you that one. But really, it’s not altogether unpleasant down here. Pomegranate?” They were passing a pomegranate tree as he spoke.

“Oh, yes, please. I’m famished,” replied Allura. This wasn’t exactly true, as gods didn’t  need to eat anything but ambrosia, but she did adore pomegranates, and Hades didn’t question her. 

He plucked a pomegranate from the tree. “It seems like you don’t particularly want to look around. Would you like to come and sit with me?”

“Sure,” she agreed. 

Lotor ripped the fruit in half and offered her a cluster of seeds, red and shining as rubies. 

She ate it, smiling as she did, unaware of the consequences this action would have. 

“Good?” he asked, putting an arm around her skinny shoulders. He resolved to fatten her up a bit, for she looked like she could be snapped like a twig at the moment. 

“Delicious,” she cooed, nuzzling into him. 

He fed her another cluster of seeds, not particularly interested in consuming any of the precious fruit himself. Soon the area around her mouth was stained red, as well as her teeth and tongue. She looked adorable, and Hades could already feel himself falling for the bright-spirited girl. She eventually refused any more. 

“I’ll bury the rest of this, then,” said Lotor, “and another tree will grow here.”

“I’m surprised anything can grow in the Underworld,” replied Persephone, getting up and watching him while he buried the rest of the seeds. 

“A lot of things will surprise you, dear,” drawled Lotor. “You can grow a veritable flower garden if you wish—if anyone can, it would be you.” And as Persephone walked through the dirt, narcissus bloomed behind her.

“I love this flower,” she gushed. 

Lotor plucked one from the ground and placed it behind her ear. “Well, my dear, you are far more lovely than this flower, but it makes a fine adornment to your hair.”

Allura blushed, and followed as Hades walked back to the castle. “I thought you’d be awful,” she admitted softly.

“And?”

“You’re not awful,” she declared. 

“You’re making me blush,” hummed Lotor, smirking at her. 

“You have pretty hair,” she said, “and you aren’t horrible to be around.”

“How kind.” But in spite of his sarcasm, Lotor was rather pleased with himself—for Zeus had given him a difficult job, making a kidnapped girl happy in a dark and lonely place.

“So what is the wedding night? Like, what happens?”

“Are you completely unaware of this?” he questioned, looking back at her. She looked more curious than worried now. 

“Pretty much,” she admitted. 

“Well, what if I show you a little piece of it, if I promise not to hurt you? And you can stop me at any time, if you wish. That will always be the case—there is no ‘point of no return’. I can promise you’ll enjoy yourself.”

Allura couldn’t believe she was agreeing to this, but… well, if he was telling the truth, then there would be nothing to worry about. The trouble was if he was lying. “Okay,” she agreed softly. 

Hades scooped her up in strong but gentle arms and brought her to his bedchamber. He sat her down on the bed and settled behind her. 

Allura felt a hard warmth press against her lower back, but quickly forgot about it as Hades’ hand crept up her white dress and touched her in the place her mother had told her to keep to herself. And she would have told him to stop, except a wave of pleasure crashed through her, and she collapsed into Hades behind her as his fingers stroked her so kindly. She gasped when she felt his finger enter her opening.

“Are you alright?” he murmured, his voice dark and musty, and the sound of his voice made her groan in pleasure. 

“Y-yes,” she managed to gasp out as he continued his deft work, slipping a second finger into her upon hearing her confirmation. She arched her back into that hardness as she felt something approaching, though she knew not what. Lotor moaned softly when she pressed against him, and the sound of his voice was enough to bring her to the edge of white hot pleasure. He pressed a kiss into the side of her neck.

“Come for me, my dear,” he purred, and at once she felt a release, felt herself clenching around his large fingers as she dug her fingernails into his legs next to her and whimpered as he carried her through her climax. “So pretty,” he drawled as she melted into him, completely at peace. She hardly noticed when he slipped his fingers out of her, and was soon asleep.

Allura laid sleepily for a while after she awoke, watching her husband brush his hair. She was fairly certain he hadn’t noticed her awakening, but admired the view—Lotor’s rear was rather nice to look at.  And what luscious white locks he had! What smooth, pale skin! The contrast between his white skin and hair and the darkness of his tunic was absolutely ravishing. She didn’t  _ love _ him, exactly, but she was certainly  _ attracted _ to him. And for now, that was enough—more than she could have hoped for in a forced marriage.  

He turned around, and smiled when their eyes met. His irises were dark, but Allura thought they might have been blue. “How was your nap, dear?” he asked gently, stepping over to her side and sitting next to her. 

“It was nice,” she replied, touching his back and admiring the contours of his muscles. 

Hades’ eyes softened at her touch, and she internally melted a bit, sitting up and hugging him from behind. “You’re nice,” she added.

“Am I?” he murmured, turning around in her arms and kissing her deeply. She made a little noise of surprise as he pushed her down onto the bed with kind hands that explored her sides rather  _ intimately _ . 

“You’re a scoundrel,” she accused him, laughing as he tickled the underside of her white arms.

“Now that’s true,” he chuckled, brushing a piece of curly golden hair from her face. “It’s time for dinner.”

“Was that a euphemism?” she giggled as a piece of his hair fell in her face.

He laughed. “No, no. It’s time for dinner.”

Persephone followed him into the dining room and thought the decorations were grim. The room was entirely dark stone, with lit candles inside skulls lining the walls. The table was long and thin, with a chair at either end. Golden ambrosia sat on plates and wine in glasses. Hades pulled out the chair for her and she sat down, smiling. He sat opposite her, and she noticed that there were pomegranate seeds in her ambrosia. She smiled at Lotor across the table.

“Do I get a closet?” she asked out of nowhere. 

“I—uh—” stuttered Lotor. “I mean, yes, you can have one. There’s only one closet attached to our bedroom now, though. You can use it until I find some souls cursed to eternal damnation to make some renovations.”

“Thanks?” she replied, laughing. “You have a weird life.”

Hades smiled. “Well, you can say that all you want, but  _ I’m  _ not the one who cheats on his wife every other Tuesday, and I’m also not the one who spends his time hanging out with naiads and having Cyclops babies, so I don’t think I’m that weird.”

“Fair point,” giggled Allura. “But why compare yourself to my father and uncle?”

“I also don’t spend my time taking revenge on people who eat my cattle, and I don’t hate all allosexuals… need I go on?”

Persephone shrugged. “I like Artemis.”

Hades smiled. “ _ You _ haven’t interacted with Artemis while being a non-virgin.”

“I still like her. She’s cool.”

“Well, I’ll give you that one, love.”

After an hour or so, they were done with dinner, and Persephone saw plates clearing themselves and glasses jumping into water before noticing the pale outlines carrying them—must be ghosts.

Lotor brought her back into their room and showed her where the closet door is. “I hope you like me alright, Allura. I know I have some skeletons in the closet, but I hope we can get past all that—”

Allura interrupted him with a loud shriek as bones clattered across the floor when she opened the closet door. “What! Why?!”

“I did warn you, darling,” drawled Lotor with a lazy grin. The skeletons picked themselves up and put themselves away. “I just like the way they look.”

“Do you use these as mannequins?” she giggled, seeing a few dark cloaks and a set of armor hanging off of a few sets of bones. 

“I like to think of myself as a utilitarian,” he replied, grinning. 

“You’re ridiculous,” she accused, shutting the door. “Also, I need more clothes.”

“ _ I _ think you need  _ less _ clothes,” Hades replied, gesturing to her dress that she was still wearing. 

“ _ Hades! _ ” she yelped, hitting him on the arm.

“Joking, joking. I’m sure we can arrange that. But in all seriousness… the floor is feeling bare and  _ really _ needs that dress to cover it.”

“Lotor.”       
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed. Leave a comment if you have a favorite god/dess that you'd like to read about. Some myths will be re-created, some will be pulled out of my ass. More is on the way.


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